Over These Years
by WinchesterPhantom
Summary: He was there from the start, helping her mother and in turn helping her, and yet she never knew...Detective Olivia Benson’s childhood told through the eyes of Captain Donald Cragen.
1. 1969 or the tale begins

**Over These Years**

**Disclaimer:**I claim no ownership to any of Law and Order characters or any other characters that presented in this work of fiction. They all belong to their respective owners. I just took them out on a play date...

**Summary:**He was there from the start, helping her mother and in turn helping her, and yet she never knew...Detective Olivia Benson's childhood told through the eyes of Captain Donald Cragen.

**Author's Note:** Well I diving in deep to new territory. Please note that I have never written SVU before so I apologise in advance for any OOCness that may occur. Also I have never been to New York or even America (that's a lie, when I was four months old I went to Florida) so if I stuff up the layout or anything with the city I am sorry.

Anyway I hope you all enjoy this little fic. The damn plot bunnies wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote this...sigh

* * *

_**Special Victims Unit, Manhattan**_

_**5**__**th**__** January 1969**_

It was his first day as a detective of Sex Crimes and Donald Cragen didn't know if he should feel excited or nervous. In all honesty he had no idea why he had left the 2-7 in favour of working such an undesired unit.

He looked over at his partner, Detective Peter Jackson who was knee deep in an unholy amount of paper work. Don sighed, he already missed Max and he hadn't even been here for two hours. In all honesty, he was regretting joining SVU, after all he had only just passed his Detective's test and he was already working in what was considered the hardest unit in the whole of NYPD. He glanced at his partner – Jackson was somewhat of a mute, deeply serious about his work with a black and white view on the world.

Suddenly the phone rang and Jackson grabbed it and deadpanned, "Special Victims Unit, Detective Jackson speaking,"

Don listened carefully as his partner grunted and wrote down an address. Hanging up Jackson rose and grabbed his coat. He turned and said softly, "You coming Cragen?"

"Yeah,"

Don got up quickly and grabbed his coat as well. He followed his partner to the elevator, almost struggling to catch up with his long strides. As Don stood in the elevator he asked, "So what happened?"

"Serena Benson reported a rape at her local Precinct. She's been taken to St Clare's,"

"Okay," said Don shortly. Well this is it, he thought dryly, they say the first case in SVU can make or break you, this is it.

"Nervous?" asked Jackson suddenly as they reached the bottom floor. Don blinked and shrugged, "Yeah,"

"It never gets easier," said Jackson seriously, keeping his voice low as he made his way to the squad car. The two men hopped in, Don in shot gun, and as the car pulled out Jackson continued, "Remember this Donnie, it will never get easier,"

Don nodded and felt his stomach twist uncomfortably. Looking ahead and examining the traffic they drove to St. Clares and when they arrived they were directed to Serena Benson's room whilst being informed of her condition. A rape kit had been done and she also had a minor knife wound across her right forearm and a few bruises but nothing too serious.

Don nodded, leading the way in the discussion as Jackson took notes. He had the feeling that this would be the way things would stay for the rest of this partnership. They reached Serena's room, and that's when the doctor left them saying he had to check on another patient. Don entered her room.

Serena Benson was pretty, and if they weren't in their current circumstances and Don wasn't dating then he would've asked her out. She had fine features and long brown hair. There was a small bandage wrapped around her arm and a large bruise developing well above her left eye.

"Hello Ms. Benson," said Don, "My name is Detective Donald Cragen and this is my partner Detective Peter Ja –"

"When can I get the hell outta here?' interrupted Serena, glaring at the detectives.

"When your doctor says so," replied Jackson, he surveyed her for a second before saying, "Were you drinking before the rape?"

She face reddened slightly and she snapped back, "And what if I was Detective? I'm not some little slut that does guys in freaking alleys! Get the hell out now!"

Don gasped slightly and he stared at his partner who merely shrugged, "As you wish Ms. Benson," and then to Don, "Finish the questioning," and then he left.

Don blinked and turned back to Serena, "I'm sorry Ms. Benson."

She shrugged and then asked, "How old are you?"

"What does it matter?"

"I'm twenty two and I've just been raped and accused of being a slut by the cops," she deadpanned.

"He didn't mean it –" Don stopped as he saw a few tears begin to well up. He approached her calmly and sat beside her, reaching forward and resting his hand on hers, rubbing it slightly. She coughed and then the waterworks began.

"It's okay..." he said gently. She shook her head and moaned, her entire frame shaking.

"I was at my friend's dorm, and having a few drinks in celebration for the end of term. When I remembered I needed to return a few books to the library...Kayla said I could go tomorrow but I insisted..." she paused and looked away from Don, "I...had just returned the book and was heading back my dorm to start packing my bags, and I took this shortcut I always take...when I noticed someone was following me..."

She coughed and pulled up the bed sheet trying to dry her eyes. Don offered her a tissue and she took it gratefully, blowing her nose softly.

"Serena," he said carefully, "If you want to continue this later we can –"

"No, it's okay!" she said shrilly, "I can do this, I can!" she drew a deep breath, "so I took this shortcut down this alley and that's when _he_," she said he with venom, "ran after me. I started to run, but it was hard in heels and I tripped..._he_...grabbed me and then raped me..." she froze.

Don nodded, "You do know it's not your fault, and there was nothing you –"

"I could have stayed with Kayla! I could have returned the book earlier...I could have fought back!" said Serena desperately, wrapping her arms around her head, drawing her knees up to her body.

"Serena, I will catch this guy, I will," declared Don. Serena glanced at him and said softly, "Thank you Detective,"

Don nodded, and then glanced back to see his partner gesturing at him at the door.

"Serena is there anyone we can contact? Any family?"

"No," whispered Serena, "Call Kayla, please, Kayla Brooks,"

"What's her number?"

Serena rattled off the number and Don wrote it on his notebook.

"Get some rest okay? We may have to talk to you again..." his voice trailed off, as Serena nodded in mute understanding. Don took one last glance at the woman before him and then walked out.

"Good cop, bad cop with the victim?" he asked aggressively to Jackson as they left the hospital.

"Not the best idea, but it worked," grunted Jackson. They got into the car and that's when Jackson said, "Donnie, don't make promises you can't keep,"

God, how right Jackson was, but Don didn't know that at the time.

* * *

_**Special Victims Unit, Manhattan**_

_**1**__**st**__** April, 1969**_

Don Cragen sat at his desk busy going through the paperwork. He desperately craved a drink. Today he and his new partner Deakins had knocked down an illegal child sex ring, and after seeing all those little girls...fuck, he really needed a drink, alas he couldn't, realising it wouldn't look good to turn up on a date looking and feeling shit faced.

Glancing up at the clock, he saw it was four thirty. He smiled slightly, as he thought of the large ring that sat in the bottom of his pocket. Today was the day, the day he'd finally propose to Marge, after four years of dating he knew it was time.

"Donnie!" called Detective Deakin's from the door. Don looked up to see his partner, a brown haired rookie detective, standing next to a pretty blonde haired woman. He recognised her immediately even despite the dramatic hair colour change. He rose quickly and proceeded over to them.

"Thanks Jimmy," said Cragen, "Umm, you reckon you can finish up the paperwork?"

Deakins nodded, glancing between Cragen and the woman suspiciously, before he turned and went back to his desk.

"New partner?" said the woman softly.

Don nodded, "Jackson transferred over to Major Case last week,"

"No great loss there,"

Don sighed, running his hand through his hair, "Listen Serena, this may sound rude, but why are you here? You know that I'm sorry for not catching –"

"You did everything you could Detective," said Serena, "I know that, it's just..." she paused as if in pain, "Could you come and get a drink with me?"

"What!?" goggled Don, in shock. Regaining composure he said, "Listen I've really got to catch up on paperwork..."

"Please Don," pleaded Serena, glancing around the bullpen as if she was unsure of herself, "I really need to talk to someone, so please? Just as friends,"

Don scuffed his shoe against the floor and swallowed.

"Sure, I'll just grab my coat,"

Don grabbed his coat, told Deakins he was leaving early, and then left with Serena, following her to a small bar not far from the precinct. He noticed she deliberately passed a larger and more welcoming bar in favour of this one. He wondered if she did that out of wanting more privacy or if she knew it was a cop's bar.

They sat down in a small booth, and Don ordered a whiskey whilst Serena ordered some vodka. They sat there for a while, sipping their drinks with great care, an awkward silence smothering them like smog. Finally Don broke the ice and asked, "What did you want to talk about?"

Serena placed her drink down and glanced away. She turned back and looked straight into Don's gray eyes and said loudly, "I'm pregnant,"

Don coughed, and little spits of alcohol flew out of his mouth. She was joking right? It was April Fools after all, she had to be joking – and yet Don knew she wasn't. There was no twinkle of amusement in her eyes, just confusion – plain and simple.

"Serena..." he began but she cut him off.

"I'm going to keep her," said Serena confidently. She sculled her vodka and then ordered another one. "I'm keeping her Don; she's my girl, not _his_, mine,"

She began to cry, and Don immediately clasped her hand, and rubbed it like he had done all those weeks ago.

"Shhh, it's okay," he said gently, and at his words she cried even more, placing her head in her palm. They sat there for a while, Don whispering small words of comfort. Serena sniffed and then Don said softly, "So how do you know she's a girl?"

Serena snorted in laughter, and grabbed her vodka, taking a small sip, "Mother's intuition," she shrugged, "I'm calling her Olivia," she took another sip.

Don sighed, and decided to bring a voice of reason to the conversation, "Serena, listen I know you want to raise her, but if you are going to go through with this – the drinking has to stop,"

One thing Don Cragen had learned about Serena Benson whilst he had been investigating her rape was that she was known to be a heavy drinker. He knew well enough from the job that even the well intentioned person could turn violent if under the influence.

"I know," she said and then she swallowed the last of her vodka and took in a deep breath, "That's my last one, I swear, Livvie's going to grow up right, she's going to grow up right,"

"You'll be a great mom," smiled Don. Serena smiled back and nodded. He continued, "Listen if you need any help setting up, don't hesitate to ask, okay?"

"Thanks, but I should be fine. Kayla is helping me look for an apartment," Don nodded as he remembered the cheery red headed girl who was Serena's best friend. Serena paused for a moment, "There is one thing though,"

"What?"

"Ummm..." she bit her lip, "In the event of something happening to me, I was just wondering if you could be Livvie's legal guardian."

If Serena hadn't looked so serious Don would of considered this to be a prank, why him to be her child's guardian? He barely knew her, well that's not true, he knew Serena Benson rather well, but why him? Why not her family, or her best friend? Surely there was someone else? Why the rookie detective that had just managed to transfer into SVU at the right time? Why him? Not that he wasn't honoured to be considered but he had a feeling it was probably against procedure and besides what would Marge think?

"You're probably wondering why," said Serena breaking through his trance.

"Yeah,"

Serena shrugged, "It's really kind of simple, I haven't really trusted anyone since...and besides I have no family and Kayla is great and all but in the end, I know that when it comes to the crunch you'd be the best thing for my baby,"

"I'd...I'd have to think about it," said Don truthfully. Serena nodded in understanding, "I understand," she stood up to leave, "Just call me when you know,"

Serena left, and Don just sat there, his mind racing at a million miles an hour. He finished his drink and then got up, glancing at the time he swore realising that he was going to be late to his big date. Placing a twenty on the table, he left.

* * *

_**Cragen's Apartment, Manhattan**_

_**15**__**th**__** May, 1969**_

The next month and a half passed without great incident. Don's big date had gone well, and a wedding date had been set for October. He couldn't be happier with his beautiful fiancé. They had just moved into a new apartment near the Upper East Side (Marge's parents had insisted on buying them it). He had finally set into a familiar routine with Jimmy Deakins, the younger man becoming like the little brother he never had.

In fact on Saturday he and a bunch of other cops from the precinct were setting Deakins up with a young intern at Mount Sinai called Angela Warner, who happened to be the Captain of Major Case's cousin.

Don had given much thought into Serena's request, checking up on the young woman once a week, but always dodging it. Not that Serena pressured him with it, for which he was grateful. Marge was fine with the idea.

"If you really want to do this Don, just say, it's your call," she had said to when he had broken her the news a day after he had popped the big question.

"Our call," he had reminded her.

Overall Don wanted to take Serena up on her offer. He had talked to his captain about it and too his old friend Max, (they and Marge were the only ones that knew) and his captain supported the motion.

Don got up from his old leather couch and walked over to the phone, heart racing as he walked the phone. Dialling her number, he waited for her to pick up. She picked up.

"_Hello,"_

"Serena its Don," he said.

"_Don! Hi, I just moved into my apartment,"_

"That's great," smiled Don and then he bit his tongue and decided to get it out, "I've thought about what you said,"

A sharp intake of breath could be heard on the other end of the line.

"And I'll act as Olivia's" he paused with a small smile, the name of the unborn youth had really grown on him, hell he wasn't even sure if Serena's child was a girl to begin with, "legal guardian in the event of you not being able to,"

"_Thank you so much, you don't know how much this means,"_ said Serena, gratitude coating her voice, _"Is Marge okay with it?"_ It hadn't taken long for Serena to catch on to Don's fiancé, who Serena proclaimed had to be the luckiest woman in the whole world.

"She's fine," said Don shortly but not unkindly. He glanced at the large clock on his wall, he had a shift in a hour.

"Listen I've got to get to work. I'll pop over tomorrow with Marge – you did say you needed help painting right?"

"_Yeah, thanks Don, again,"_

"No problem. See you tomorrow then," he hung up and grabbed his coat and headed out.

* * *

_**Holding Cell, Manhattan **_

_**31**__**st**__** August, 1969**_

He was pissed. It was that simple. He was really pissed.

Don Cragen had been in the middle of a nice outing with his fiancé, the last chance he had to wine and dine Marge at a hellavu expensive restaurant that had taken months to book in advance before they said their vows when he got the call. It had been work, just like all the other times, but this time it was different, a lot different.

Apparently a young heavily pregnant woman had been arrested for drunkenness in public. She had been asking for a Don Cragen, and typically that had gotten back to him. He couldn't believe her, after all her promises about how she wouldn't drink anymore for the sake of Olivia, and hell he had even stopped drinking, not that it had been that much of a trouble at the time but nonetheless, he couldn't believe her. Not to mention the fact she was almost due! Her doctor had specifically told her to stay at home.

Heading down to the holding cell he waved the guards out and went up to the bars. She sat on the bench, slumped against the wall, hands placed protectively over her stomach. Her breathing was heavy; her eyelids closed, but when Don coughed her eyes snapped open.

"I really fucked up didn't I?" she slurred.

"No shit Serena," he deadpanned. He rolled his eyes and said, "I can't believe you, I can't believe you." He shook his head, "You made a promise, what were you thinking? You're nearly due and you're out drinking! What were you thinking Serena? What?!"

Serena looked up with dewy blue eyes and Don couldn't help but pray that her child didn't inherit that look. He stared back coldly at her; determined not to let her play him like that. They stared at each other, waiting for the other to break.

"Why?" he finally said, looking away.

"I...it finally hit me, before...I mean...I finally realised I was having a child of rape, I'm twenty two and I'm pregnant with a child, _his_ child...I..."

"No, your child, your Olivia, remember?" he sighed, "Listen if you're really unsure you can always look at adoption or foster care –"

"She'd go to you," said Serena, she rose and began to pace the room, "Don – I said I'd do this, and I will...I just...what if she turns out like him? What if she's violent? What will I do? What?"

Don blinked, "She won't be," Serena opened her mouth to protest but Don cut her off, "Cross that bridge when you get to it,"

"Okay..." her face fell, her eyes darting downwards, and suddenly Don noticed that there was a small wet patch growing larger by the minute.

"Officer," Don quickly called, whilst Serena began tearing out her hair and hyperventilating. When no one came he yelled the command. A uniform came in.

"What's the matter –"

"Call an ambulance now," said Don sharply, gesturing to Serena, who was now holding her belly, tears running down her face. The uniform's eyes widened and he rushed forward and unlocked the cell door. Don rushed in and grabbed Serena, pulling her along with him.

The uniform led them to a squad car and Don got Serena in the back. He sat next to her, whilst two uniforms jumped in front. Soon they were speeding off to St. Clare's. The moment they arrived, Don and Serena were out. Walking into the Emergency, Don immediately made a beeline to the nurse, pulling out his badge when people began to yell at him, and said to the nurse, "She's about to go into labour."

The nurse nodded, and she gestured for a co-worker to take Serena to the Labour and Delivery department. Whilst Serena was prepped, the nurse asked, "Are you the father?"

"No, just a friend," explained Don and then to Serena, "I'm going to have to call Marge,"

"Okay," said Serena. Don nodded and called Marge. She wasn't mad (thank god) but she was worried, and said she was coming down to the hospital immediately.

"Detective?" asked one of the uniforms.

"Yes,"

"We're going to head back to the precinct...um how do you know her?"

"Long story," he shrugged. The uniform nodded and left. Don returned to Serena's side and just talked to her in an effort to keep her calm. Soon Marge arrived and the two women began chatting like best friends. They talked about overseas trips (fat chance on Don's salary) and Marge mentioned she was starting a new job at the airline (maybe not such a fat chance then). He looked at his watch, it was ten o'clock.

Over the next hour and a half the contractions steadily got worse. Don began to wonder if Serena had been a sailor in a past life. He felt helpless, unsure what to do, so he just sort of stood there, whilst Marge dove in and helped the young woman.

The minutes trickled by and finally it was time. A doctor came in and began to coach Serena through it. Don stood by her side, gripping her hand, not even reacting as her nails dug deep into his hand. Marge was further down the bed, whispering words of encouragement.

"It's like shitting a god damn watermelon! Not like the movies!" Serena cried before giving another push, sweat running down her face which was red like a beetroot.

"C'mon Serena, push, breathe, push, breathe," muttered Don.

"Shut the fu – ahhhh!" Serena gave one last push and it was like a small pop sound could be heard. Don looked to the doctor, who was now holding a small child that was covered in a white and red substance.

The baby was wailing slightly, bawling its tiny fists together. The doctor handed the baby to a nurse and then cut off the umbilical cord which was surprisingly bluish-white in colour. The nurse then left with the small infant, leaving Don and Marge to comfort Serena.

Soon enough the placenta came out, and then Serena begin to drift off into an uneasy sleep.

"She did good," said Don simply.

Marge nodded, "Who knows in a few years..."

"Trust me," came a husky voice beside them, "childbirth is not what is cracked up to be,"

"Welcome to the living,"

"Thanks Don," yawned Serena, she sat up slightly and asked with wide eyes, "Where is she?"

"Getting cleaned up, she's fine," said Marge. Serena nodded, slumping back, exhausted. Suddenly her door opened and a nurse walked in with a bundle of blankets. Serena's back straightened, her eyes getting their spark back. The nurse passed the small bundle to Don, who caught sight of two chocolate brown eyes staring up at him.

He passed the baby to Serena, who held her gently, rocking her back and forth calmly. A small smile tugged at Serena's lips.

"So a boy or a girl?" asked Don.

"A girl," chorused Serena and Marge. The nurse chuckled.

"Mothers' intuition," said the nurse with a smile, "On a good note, she's fine, weighing at about 7 pounds. She's healthy, and she was born on the first of September,"

The nurse stood there for a minute and then left the young mother and the Cragens.

"Olivia, Olivia –" she paused and glanced at Don, "Olivia Donatella Benson," Don's jaw dropped in surprise to which Serena chuckled, "Well I can't give her the name Donald, can I?"

"Where did you even get that name from?" asked Cragen raising an eyebrow.

"Donatella can be a girl's name!" retorted Serena loudly which made Olivia cry. She began to hush Olivia, rocking her backwards and forwards. Olivia began to calm down, suckling on her mother's pinkie finger.

"Well I think it's a beautiful name," commented Marge. Serena stuck out her tongue at Don and then raised Olivia up to her face.

And thus on September the 1st 1969 Olivia Donatella Benson was born.

* * *

**_- Chapter has been edited._**


	2. 1975 or Olivia goes to live with Don

**Over These Years**

**Author's Note:** Thanks to all those that reviewed, favourite, and put this story on alert – it means a lot. Please note also that because Don interacts with the Benson at various points some parts of Olivia's past will be altered because in canon there was no Don there – however some things will remain the same. Also sorry for any point in this story when the technology is a little too advanced for the year it's set in...call it poetic licence if you want...anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter – it gave me hell trying to write it!

* * *

_**27**__**th**__** Precinct Homicide, Manhattan**_

_**11**__**th**__** September, 1975**_

"How was court?" asked Don, as his partner Detective Max Greevey walked to his desk. Max sat down and rubbed his face, clearly depressed.

"A bloody nightmare – he got away, the bastard got away!"

"How?"

"Some minor technicality, legal mumbo jumbo," he sighed and looked over to Don, "I don't even know what happened, damn lawyers, we had him! He was in so deep it was like the Titanic all over again and yet he got away!"

Don rolled his eyes. It had been a hard case, a young college freshman called Mick Davey who had been murdered by his pledge master for not stealing a car. Don and Max had worked on the case for two straight weeks, trying to dig up anything that could convict the bastard. Finally they found the murder weapon and from then on the ball had begun to roll.

Don turned back to his current case notes, a drive by shooting of a nice little old lady, trying to draw conclusions in his mind. Max got up to grab some coffee and to try and calm his nerves.

"Cragen," called his captain. Don rose and wandered over to his superior's office wondering what the hell he had done this time.

"Yes captain?" he asked cautiously.

"Don't look so worried Donnie," chuckled his captain and then he sobered, "I've just gotten a phone call from Child Welfare,"

A slight pause.

"Apparently there is a young girl who has been taken by her mother and they are looking for her legal guardian to take her in, since no family has been found," his captain's eyes narrowed, "You know anything about it?"

Don nodded mutely. It was Olivia, obliviously. After Serena left hospital all those years ago, they had remained close, Don coming over to check on the little Benson every two weeks. Serena had been great, wasn't drinking anymore, had a secure job (she was aiming to try and become an English professor). Everything had been going great but eventually they lost contact.

Serena claimed it was to do with forgetting the past and Don was in some ways a reminder of what had happened to her. So eventually the visits had longer gaps, it went to once a month, to once every three months, and after Don left SVU, it became clear that Serena didn't want him around anymore and the visits had stopped period. That had been four years ago and it had been quite depressing for 

him and Marge, since Olivia had been like a daughter, but they coped, moving forward with life and sending a birthday and Christmas card when needed.

Finally Don spoke, "Yes captain, the girl's name would be Olivia right?"

"Yeah, care explaining it to me?"

Don shrugged, "You know how I worked in SVU?"

"Obliviously Donald,"

Don nodded, "Well on my first case my partner and I investigated this rape. The woman got pregnant and two months after the case went cold she asked me to be the baby's guardian and I agreed" His captain didn't need to know the whole story.

Captain Tonnaz frowned, and Don knew that gears were clicking in his head.

"Well if that's the case, take the rest of the week off, longer if need be,"

"Wha –"

"Donnie if you are taking in this kid then it's going to be easier if you're around. Trust me, I have kids, they can be a real handful,"

"Thanks captain,"

Captain Tonnaz smiled, "Just take care of her," and then after a pause, "And tell Max, that he's driving you down to Child Welfare, since I know you didn't drive over here this morning and he did,"

"Okay, thanks again captain,"

Don left the captain's office. Max mouthed 'what did you do this time?' and Don grinned. He grabbed his partner and the two left the precinct, Don telling Max what had happened.

Max and Don had been friends since they had both attended the Police Academy. On the beat they had been in the same squad, and had regularly gone out for drinks. In fact if it wasn't for Max he probably would have never of asked Marge out. Max had been sad to see his friend leave for SVU after he had became a detective. It hadn't taken much longer for Max to achieve the same rank as his buddy, but he went to work in the Robbery Unit. Once Don had spilled the beans about leaving SVU, the two friends made a beeline for the two opening positions in Homicide at the two seven.

Max naturally knew about the whole Serena Benson deal but was stunned when he heard that Child Services was probably considering Don to take in the kid.

"You're really serious about this Don? Kids are a handful"

"So I've heard," muttered Don darkly, "But yeah, why not? I am her guardian; I just can't ditch Olivia like that,"

"Does Marge know?"

"She'll be fine, she loved Olivia, and besides she's in London at the moment, what's she going to do?" he added the last bit cheekily, trying to portray an expression of calm and confidence, whilst inside he was a wreck. He was going to be looking after a kid! He was actually going to be taking care of Olivia! What if she didn't like him? What if she ran away? What did six year olds even eat? Hell, what was Marge going to think?

"You know Donnie, I can read you like an open book," said Max gravely, "You are scared shitless and have every right to be. On another note," his tone turned lighter, "don't say things like that about your wife. If you have anything to be really scared about, it's Marge,"

"You are so helpful,"

Max chuckled.

They reached their destination and got out. Don felt his stomach twist together as he walked slowly to the front door. Max rolled his eyes and gave his friend a helpful nudge. Don glared but did walk slightly faster. They entered the building, and Don wrinkled his nose. He hated that cleaning product smell, well actually he didn't mind it normally but this place was positively reeking of it.

Don proceeded forward to the front desk. The receptionist called one of the Social workers down. Her name was Eliza Cabot.

"You must be Mr. Cragen," she greeted with a thick southern accent, offering her hand.

"Yeah," said Don, shaking her hand, "But call me Don,"

"Okay," she glanced at Max, "And this is...?"

"Detective Max Greevey m'am," said Max, imitating the women's Southern tang. He always did that whenever he met someone with a Southern accent – always. Don desperately hoped his friend would drop it.

"He's a friend from work," explained Don, whilst Max continued to grin like an idiot. He wondered if he killed Max there and then would he get away with it. Probably not, unless he killed everyone in the immediate area to remove witnesses...

"Of course," said Ms. Cabot.

"Umm, so where is Olivia?"

"Upstairs," Ms. Cabot paused for a moment, "But first can you come to my office and we can sort out the paperwork,"

"Sure," said Don. Glancing at Max he said softly, "Call Marge," and then he let Ms. Cabot lead him to her office.

The paperwork was fairly easy and since it was in Serena's will that the Cragens were going to look after Olivia. Ms. Cabot did ask a few questions concerning Don and Marge's backgrounds, but she was mostly happy with them taking in Olivia. She asked if they had enough room, which Don responded with a yes, silently thanking his in-laws for footing the bill of their three bedroomed apartment. If they hadn't, they probably would be living in more cramped conditions.

"Well everything seems fine then, I'll just take you to meet Olivia, and someone will come over to make sure everything is okay and then check up on Olivia and so forth –"

"Ms. Cabot," interrupted Don, "Why was Olivia taken?"

The woman's features seem to darken, "The neighbours heard yelling, heard a few crashes, so they called the cops. According to Olivia, her mom's boyfriend had come over, and Serena told him to leave. He didn't, so they began to argue, and then Serena chucked a few things at him, which prompted him to leave,"

"Was Serena or Olivia hurt?" asked Don franticly, "When did the cops arrive?"

"A few minutes after the call. They found Ms. Benson out on the couch, and Olivia hiding under the kitchen table,"

From the tone in her voice, Don quickly dictated that this hadn't been a first time thing, "That's not the first time?"

"No, we've had three other incidents – two of them involving Olivia calling an ambulance for her mother; yesterday night was the last straw,"

"Hold up – she was here all night yesterday?"

"No at a hospital, getting a check up. She had a couple of bruises on the lower back, and a few scratches from the broken glass,"

"How old were the bruises?"

"Recent," said Ms. Cabot sadly.

Don swore and the asked, "Could I speak to Serena?" At Ms. Cabot's dagger stare he added, "Listen I've known Serena – well I was the first person she told about Olivia and I helped her get on her feet. I need to know why –"

"Don," interrupted Ms. Cabot, "I understand but sometimes to help a person you have to let them help themselves. You don't know how many times I've seen the same thing happen with people in Ms. Benson and your situation. We will be helping her set goals so Olivia can be return to her mother but right now, you need to concentrate on Olivia,"

"Has Olivia said anything?"

"No, she's denied any claims of her mother abusing her which makes me think that it might be the boyfriend, she's not saying much which is to be expected," she paused, "Why am I telling you this?"

Don ignored her, "I'll talk to Olivia,"

"Don remember you're not a detective here,"

"I'm always one Ms. Cabot,"

Ms. Cabot sighed, and knew better then to argue. Meanwhile Don knew he needed to find a way to talk to Serena, but that could wait. Ms. Cabot began to talk about going to see Olivia and Don mutely nodded, following the woman out of her office. He was led to a small window that looked into a room filled with colourful toys, and tables. Looking in, he saw her.

She was petite, with her long brown hair held up in a ponytail. She wore a plain blue t-shirt with a brown skirt, long white socks pushed down against red worn out sneakers. A woman sat beside her reading a story but Don could tell that Olivia was hardly paying attention. She was shifting her weight side to side; her eyes kept glancing around the room, and fiddling with the woollen rug underneath her.

Ms. Cabot opened up the door and Don entered the room. Olivia looked up at him suspiciously.

"Olivia, this is Donald Cragen, he's going to take you home tonight," introduced Ms. Cabot.

"Where's my Mom?" pouted Olivia.

"Olivia, your Mom can't –"

"I want my Mommy!" said Olivia in a loud whiny voice.

"Olivia," said Don breaking in, "Your Mom is sick, she needs to get better," he hated lying, and he had a feeling it would come and bite him in the ass one day, though in some ways Serena was sick...so it wasn't really a lie.

"So she's in a hosi...hopsi...hospipol..."

"Hospital?" offered Don, kneeling down to Olivia's height.

"That's what I said," said Olivia sharply, "So when she gets better I can see her?"

"Maybe," said Don softly, "But until then you're going to come and stay with me,"

"But Mommy said not to go with strangers,"

"Your Mom is right," chuckled Don, "But Liv –"

"Olivia," she growled.

"But Olivia," damn this kid was a handful, definitely Serena's, "Your mommy asked me to look after you,"

"Really? I want evi..eveeedeance..."

"Evidence?"

"I said that,"

Don stared at the girl before him. She wanted evidence? Hell she would make a good detective if she wanted to be one. Though when he thought about it most perps would burst into laughter at her mispronunciation but she was six after all.

"Olivia, please settle down," said Ms. Cabot raising her voice slightly. Don immediately noticed the over confidence fade away in Olivia at the voice level change. She nodded and looked away from Don and the social worker, to a large teddy bear. Ms. Cabot sighed, "Listen I'll leave you two to get acquainted,"

"Acanetoad?"

"Acquainted – it means to get to know each other,"

"Okay," shrugged Olivia. The woman and Ms. Cabot left the room. There was an awkward silence, in which Olivia stared at Don with an unwavering gaze. It wasn't a harsh stare, not one that made you feel like the person was looking into your soul; it was more just out of simple curiosity.

"So do you like reading?" asked Don, gesturing to the picture book Olivia had been read before.

"It's okay," she muttered. Don crumbled inside; he really had hoped Olivia would be one of those kids that told you everything without a second thought – though then again Olivia probably had learnt to hold her tongue to adults, to be constantly on guard. He suspected Serena had taught her to keep a brave front.

Still if Olivia was going to be staying with him he couldn't give up so he tried again, "What's your favourite subject at school?"

"Art," she replied brightening up a bit.

"You like to paint?"

"It's fun," said Olivia genuinely and then whispered as if it was the biggest secret in the world, "Mommy said it's a useless sub...subjek...subject, she said I should work harder at Math and not waste time on Art,"

"You do Math in first grade?" queried Don to keep the conversation flowing.

"It's really hard,"

"I bet it is," chuckled Don. Olivia glared at him. Bad move...

"Don't pat...tron...ice me,"

"I wasn't going to Olivia," said Don gently. He paused and then asked, "Patronise is a pretty big word, where you learn it?"

"Frank,"

Don's gut feeling told him that Frank was the boyfriend, but he still had to ask in case it turned out that Frank was just the lonely guy at the end of the hall. Keeping his voice, low he said, "Who?"

Olivia looked up with her big brown eyes, "Mommy's boyfriend, he says it a lot, especially when he's angry,"

"Does he get angry often?"

"I dunno; maybe." mumbled Olivia. After a lengthy pause she said, "I don't really like him,"

"Why not?"

"He yells a lot," said Olivia, "Mommy didn't drink before he came along,"

Alarm bells went ringing in his head at those words, and he cursed himself for not remaining in contact with Serena. "How long has he been seeing your mom?"

"Since Christmas, Mommy met him at some work thing,"

Don nodded and then asked the dreaded question, "Olivia, has Frank ever hurt you?"

"No," said Olivia a little too quickly. He noticed her right hand sneak back to her back. Her eyes widened as she realised what Don had seen. Clasping her hands together, her cheeks began to redden slightly, her eyes watering, "He said I was naughty, it was punishment,"

"Why were you naughty?"

"I saw him talking to this other lady in the street, and later he told me I shouldn't...eave..drop on him," said Olivia in one big breath, "Mommy didn't like it,"

A part of Don was instantly relieved at that last comment. Sighing he continued on, "So what did Mommy do?"

"Told him to go away, he got really mad, it was scary,"

"Why?"

"Just because," she swallowed deeply, "I don't wanna talk about it,"

"Okay, that's fine,"

Don changed the subject and began talking about school subjects again. From this he got on the topic of animals, which Olivia got very excited about. She told him about elephants, lions, and tigers with great enthusiasm though Don had to wonder if some of the things she said were even true still it was cute and it really broke the ice.

Eventually Ms. Cabot came back and Don and Olivia went and collected Olivia's belongings. They headed back down to reception to see a waiting Max. Max gave the thumbs up to Don, to which he smiled in relief.

"Olivia, this is my partner Max," introduced Don. Olivia looked at Max curiously from behind Don.

"Partner?" she asked.

Max chuckled, "Didn't Donnie tell you that he's a cop?"

Olivia shook her head, "No...that's really cool...so you catch baddies?"

"Yeah," said Don with a small grin.

"That's really cool," repeated Olivia, "Mommy said that cops are the goodies, but some of them are meanies,"

Don was forcibly reminded of his Jackson, his first partner at SVU.

"Well, that's something," said Max awkwardly, glancing at Don.

"Olivia, be nice," chided Ms. Cabot.

"But I didn't do anyfing! That's what Mommy said!"

Don bent down, "I think she means –"

"But I didn't do anything!"

"Hey Ms. Olivia," broke in Max, drawing the little girl's attention away, "Do you want to see a magic trick?"

"You can do magic?" said Olivia suspiciously, raising a eyebrow.

"Yep,"

Don grinned, as Max entertained Olivia. Ms. Cabot meanwhile quickly went on to say that someone would come over at five to see how Olivia was going. She explained that normally she would come over immediately but something had come up that needed to be attended to urgently. Don nodded and Ms. Cabot left.

He turned to see Max pulling a coin out from Olivia's ear. She smiled and snatched the coin from him, a big cheeky grin on her face.

"So Olivia...what do you want for lunch?"

She shrugged, "I dunno..."

"Surely you must be hungry," said Max. Olivia merely shrugged.

"How about some McDonalds?"

"Really?" asked Olivia as if Max had just offered her a million dollars of stolen cash.

"Sure,"

"Okay," agreed Olivia. Max shot Don a glance which Don promptly ignored. Soon the three of them were off towards the nearest McDonalds. Don paid for their food (Quarter Pounders for him and Max, and a Happy Meal for Olivia) and they sat down on the plastic seats.

Olivia took to the food enthusiastically, eating it quickly. Don took the time to ask a few questions regarding school, hobbies, and favourite movies. He found out that Olivia liked playing the conga drum in Music class, and that she liked to go to the park and play hopscotch, and that her favourite movie was _Lady and the Tramp_.

Eventually Olivia managed to drag both Max and Don into a mad game of hide and seek in the McDonald's playground. By the end of it both men were at their wit's end, as Olivia vanished from sight again and again. She had a knack for making herself unnoticed, for finding the perfect spots without a moment's hesitation.

Eventually they headed over to Don's apartment. Max dropped them off, saying that he needed to head back to work. Don merely nodded and led Olivia to her new temporary life.

* * *

Over the next couple of weeks the Cragens settled into a new routine. Olivia was an early riser, so Don got used to waking early, making her pancakes for breakfast (Olivia was a pancake addict), getting her ready for school, and then taking her to school on the subway.

Out of convenience Olivia kept on going to her original primary school. Marge would pick Olivia up from school in the afternoon, which worked out really well since the school was on the way home from her work (she had taken a desk job so that she could stay in New York). If Marge was not available, Max would go and pick Olivia up and she would stay at the precinct in the interview room until Don finished.

It was soon revealed that Olivia loved to cook. When Don came home from work, Olivia would always be in the kitchen with Marge helping prepare dinner. Sometimes when Marge was out, she'd drag Don into the kitchen and two of them would get up to 'mischief' and make a massive mess. All was forgiven though when the three of them would sit down and eat whatever treat they had cooked up.

One thing Don noticed about Olivia was that one second she was bright and cheerful and full of energy (too much energy in some ways) but that could all change in mere seconds. The mention or sight of alcohol would make her close up.

Don found himself telling Ms. Cabot this and that if Olivia was going to go back and live with Serena – she needed to understand that there was some obviously some alcohol abuse at the Benson's residence. At least there were no signs of physical abuse (except from Frank), and the drinking hadn't really greatly affected Olivia's relationship with her mom – she still asked on a regularly basis when she was going home.

Anyway as the months grew colder the annual Police Family Picnic in Central Park was being held. It was a massive event with hundreds of cops chatting about war stories whilst cooking hamburgers, steaks, and sausages, whilst their kids ran around playing various sports.

Olivia was hanging out with little Alex Eames. The two of them had become instant friends when they had met up at the 2-7 one afternoon. Officer John Eames had come by to collect a few things since he was moving precincts and Alex had been with him. Olivia, who Uncle Max had collected from school, found Alex and soon the two little girls had been found terrorising the precinct much to the amusement of Don's fellow brother cops.

The two of them were an interesting combination; Alex was tiny, Don couldn't believe she was seven years old, whilst Olivia was quite tall. Liv had long dark hair, whilst Alex had short light hair. Alex was a complete and utter tomboy whilst Olivia though not particularly girly wasn't as extreme as Alex. Alex was self confident, was direct to the point, and was incredibly sarcastic, whilst Olivia was more sweet natured, though through hanging out with Alex she had developed her own little snark (which she used only against Alex and Uncle Max). However they both had chocolate brown eyes which would light up at the mention of sweets or pranks they could play on cops at the precincts (the current one was whoopee cushions).

Currently both girls were trying to convince some of the boys to let them play soccer with them while Don and other fathers were watching on in interest. In the end it was eight year old Elliot Stabler who offered to have them both on his team. The other boy, a ten year old called Kenny Moran, quickly agreed despite a big stupid grin on his face.

"Sure you want your girls playing with the guys?" chuckled Kenny's dad, Officer Moran, "Could get rough,"

"I'm more worried for your boys," retorted Eames with a knowing smile that he shared with Don and Max. Moran and the other fathers all laughed at this.

"Sure, sure!" they chided.

Soon enough the game began. Alex with her raw skills was destroying the boys, whilst Olivia would get in the guys way; making them stop in their tracks since they didn't want to hurt a girl. Don smiled as Elliot congratulated the girls, who had set such an outstanding example to the rest of the team, that they were now considered 'one of the boys'.

Another play was soon started up. Alex quickly passed the ball to a boy called Peter who then passed it to Elliot. Elliot raced up the field but when he got blocked he saw Olivia standing unguarded and kicked it to her.

Don felt his chest fill with pride as Olivia continued on track to the goal, a big grin on her face as she did. Suddenly Kenny Moran came running up behind and – WHAM!

In an instant Don was racing out onto the field to Olivia. He reached her in a matter of seconds and held her as silent tears leaked down her face.

"My head hurts..." she murmured into Don's shirt.

"Ice?" came Max's voice from behind. Don nodded and Max was off like a hare. Don could feel her frame shaking – he glared at Kenny, who was just standing there pretending to act all innocent.

"Told ya girls shouldn't play soccer," he said softly.

"Shut up Moran!" said Elliot, "You weren't supposed to tackle – you broke the rules!"

"Whatever Ellana," sneered Kenny, "The fact is that if you hadn't let them play, Olivia wouldn't be hurt."

Don really, really wanted to punch this kid – and he wasn't the only one, because suddenly Alex leapt forward, tackling Kenny and bringing him to the ground. She hit him in the face a few times and then Kenny started to fight back. Elliot leapt forward and broke it up, pulling Alex away from Kenny, whilst the fathers stood in shock.

Suddenly heavy panting could be heard to symbolise Max's return. As the rest of the kids were sorted out Don placed the pack on Olivia's head.

"It's cold!" she whined.

"Sorry but if we don't ice –"

"It'll go big and ugly," moaned Olivia, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Yeah," nodded Don, "Where did –"

"Mommy told me that,"

"Really?"

"Yeah,"

And then Don began to lead Olivia on a pointless little conversation in an attempt to distract Olivia from the ice. It worked fairly well, actually, but much to his relief Alex and Elliot soon came wandering over to check on their friend.

"You okay Liv?" asked Alex bending down besides Olivia.

"My head hurts," Olivia peered at her friend, "You're bleeding,"

Don looked up at Alex to see blood running down her chin from her swollen lip. Max immediately called Eames over, who ushered his daughter away to get some medical attention. Elliot remained however, looking unsure on what to do.

"You hurt Elliot?" asked Olivia. He shook his head and slipped onto the grass.

"Nah," he paused and Don inwardly chuckled, somebody had a crush. The little boy cleared his throat, "So how bad does your head hurt?"

"Bad,"

"Really?" asked Don, lifting an eyebrow, "Hospital?"

Olivia eyes widened, "No, no, not the hosip...hos...pital!"

Max chuckled beside them. After a while Olivia was up again, and Alex, Elliot and Olivia were off playing on the play equipment. And from the looks of it Elliot wasn't the only one with a little crush...

* * *

_**Child Services, Manhattan**_

_**13**__**th**__** December, 1975**_

It might as well be a funeral, thought Don Cragen and his wife Marge, as they sat waiting with Olivia, savouring their last few minutes with their little girl. Today was the day, the day Olivia left them and went back to Serena. Don wanted to be happy that Olivia was going home (she was very excited about seeing her mom again) but he couldn't be. And he knew he wasn't the only one sad, little Elliot Stabler and Alex Eames were in on the fact that their friend was going today, though they didn't realise the possibility that they may never see her again like Don had. The guys at the precinct were also depressed, saying that they'd rather have fifty whoopee's and rotten eggs on their seats then Olivia leaving.

Marge was sitting beside Olivia, the two of them discussing the chocolate cake they had baked last night, Olivia insisting that they should've added more cocoa, Marge laughed at this and then suggested that they just eat straight chocolate to which Olivia agreed enthusiastically.

Marge was putting on a brave front. Don could tell from the long glances she gave him, and her voice pitch was higher than usual. Don, himself had barely spoken, slumping against the chair, unsure on what to do.

Suddenly the door to the waiting room opened; Ms. Cabot and Serena entered the room. Olivia turned her head quickly, and her eyes lit up like a kid on a sugar high.

"Olivia?" cried out Serena, her eyes matching her daughters'.

Olivia clambered to her feet and raced to Serena, "Mommy!"

The two embraced with Serena scooping her little girl up in her arms, tears glistening in her eyes. Don watched on sadly, whilst Ms. Cabot walked around to the Cragens. Don sighed, bending down and grabbing Olivia's bags, he and Marge took them over to Serena. Serena placed Olivia down and said softly, "Thank you for taking care of her," Don nodded and handed her a small slip of paper. Serena flicked it open and nodded, "I'll keep it in mind," She picked up the bags, "Bye Marge, Don," she made her way to the exit but when Olivia didn't follow she called, "C'mon Livvie,"

Olivia remained where she was and asked, "When can I see Uncle Don, and Auntie Marge again?"

Don noticed how Serena's eyes seem to darken at the mention, "We'll see sweetie,"

"Okay," said Olivia, clearly unsatisfied with the response but not looking to start a fight. She first hugged Marge tightly, and then it came to Don's turn. He wrapped his arms around her and kissing her lightly on the cheek, "Keep safe kiddo," he murmured into her ear.

They broke apart and Olivia promised, "I will unkie Don,"

She waved goodbye to them and then followed her mother out the door. The Cragens stood there for a few minutes when Ms. Cabot broke the silence.

"She was a like a daughter, eh?" She summarised. They nodded, and she continued, "I know how you feel – it's the same when my little Lexi goes to visit her dad in Canada."

"I just..." started Don but then he froze unable to go on.

Ms. Cabot nodded, "I'll keep you updated and if anything does go wrong – well you'll get a call,"

"Thank you," said Marge.

"No problem at all," said Ms. Cabot softly. She looked at her watch and excused herself, "Well I have to go, so bye,"

She left them alone and that's Don asked more to himself then anyone, "Why do I feel like a small part of me has died?"

"Because I feel it too," replied Marge. Don nodded, "Yeah...c'mon let's go,"

And then the Cragens also left, Don praying that this was all just a bad dream and that he'd wake up with Olivia demanding pancakes.

_**TBC**_


	3. 1981 or a Christmas Eve runaway tale

**Over These Years**

**Author's Note:** I'm in a good mood today...a very good mood. I've made Chocolate Palmier, had bacon and eggs with mushies, had a nice long sleep in, written more of this random story, and I'm getting Stir Fry for dinner tonight...and because of all this writing this chapter went that big quicker.

Anyway I hope you enjoy and the first chance you get - make Chocolate Palmier! Also thanks to everyone who reviewed, or fave'd or put this on alert!

* * *

_**Cragen's Apartment, Manhattan**_

_**24**__**th**__** December, 1981**_

"What do you mean your parents are coming over?"

Marge Cragen eyed him with complete and utter disbelief, "I told you three weeks ago,"

Don scratched his head in confusion – she had? He briefly remembered her saying something as he had rushed out the door to the precinct.

He sighed; he had been hoping for a Christmas alone with just him and Marge. Pop a bottle of champagne, go ice skating in Central Park (not one of Don's favourite things to do but Marge enjoyed it) and having a nice quiet romantic dinner at home. Not that Don didn't like his in-laws; they were nice enough but they were incredibly nosey and kept on dropping snide hints about the lack of little Cragens running around New York.

The thing was Marge and Don did want kids – there was no doubt about it. But in between their work and other commitments they had barely any time just for themselves, let alone raising a family. And besides they both had come to this stalemate thought, which was that Olivia was always going to be their kid. It was a sad excuse but it worked for both of them.

In fact it had been about six years since they had last seen her. Serena had barred all contact between them, but through Ms. Cabot they had heard that Olivia was happy so he let it go. He wasn't the only one though who had let go of the idea of Olivia returning. Alex and Elliot had both grown up; though not forgetting their childhood friend, she wasn't their primary concern anymore. Elliot was now entering high school and was more concerned about grades and girls, whilst Alex was perfecting her soccer skills in the State Junior Rep Squad.

In the end though, Don just didn't want Marge's parents over. But alas he knew he had to keep up the image of the perfect son-in-law, so he bit his tongue and said, "Oh yeah, sorry forget..."

"Really Donald," said Marge shaking her head, "Now like I was saying, we have to go and pick up the turkey right now and I mean it, before that place closes down for the night," at Don's expression she added, "I have pre-ordered don't worry,"

She wandered over to the cloak room and grabbed a smart black coat and the car keys, heading to the door. Don watched as she turned back and said, "You coming Don?"

Don nodded and grabbed his coat, and was about to follow Marge when the phone rang. He darted over to the phone and picked it up, "Cragen,"

"_Don!"_ came the cry of Serena Benson on the other end of the line.

"Serena?" said Don in panic, "What's the problem?"

Don was in sheer shock. He hadn't heard from her in about six years. After Serena had claimed Olivia again, she had severed all contact with them, quite literally. Don had hated it, especially since Olivia had become like a daughter but wasn't about to go into a custody battle, as he knew that Olivia really did want to be with her mother.

Don hadn't stopped checking up on Olivia though. He would occasionally drive by her school, just to see her, make sure she was okay. He had also kept in contact with Ms. Cabot, who had assured to tell him if anything came up. He had also told Serena to contact him if she ever needed too. He had been highly doubtful though. In fact when he told Max, he was doubtful as well. In the end Olivia had 

just faded from their minds, even her old friends had partially forgotten her, with Alex Eames and Elliot Stabler both growing up; they were more concerned with other things like high school, grades and girls, whilst Alex was perfecting her soccer skills in the State Junior Rep Squad.

"_It's Olivia,"_ he could hear her crying, _"She found out...she found out...and she panicked and ran out...Jesus Christ Don, its Christmas Eve! My little Livvie is missing on Christmas Eve!"_

"Have you reported it?"

There was a short intake of breath, _"Yes..., they said they had to wait 72 hours..."_

Don swore under his breath. He glanced out to see Marge walking back to the car, "Where are you?"

"_At my apartment, I doubled back when I couldn't find her...please Don!"_

"I'll be right over," he said shortly and hung up.

Marge stood at the door, her face creasing in worry. She asked, "What's happened?"

"It was Serena...Olivia found out..."

"And she ran away," whispered Marge in a horrified tone. Don nodded; and the two of them quickly locked up and raced to the car. Don jumped in and gunned the engine, driving madly to get to Serena's apartment. He parked out front, and dashed to the front door. Serena appeared at the door and rushed out, eyes red.

"Don! Marge!" she cried out. She and Marge instantly embraced, Marge whispering soothing words to the younger woman. Don decided to take charge. Glancing around he was grateful that it hadn't started snowing, which would mean that if they found any little footsteps they wouldn't be covered.

"Serena; is there any place she could have gone?" he asked.

Serena nodded and rattled off a list of places. Don mentally took note of all of them and then the three of them got into Don's car. They drove around the neighbourhood, getting out and stopping every now and then, asking people if they had seen Olivia. The same response came every time, 'no'.

Serena was slowly losing it, her mind jumping to endless possibilities. Don sat with her and tried to calm her down, whilst Marge went around asking. Eventually Serena's breathing returned to normal, and she began to think more logically.

However despite the fact that all of them were keeping a cool head, they still couldn't find her. After two hours of solid searching they headed back to the apartment and Don called the local precinct and told them of the situation. Something about him being a brother cop gave them extra incentive to start a search. They asked for him to bring Serena over to the precinct. He agreed.

They were passing the outskirt of a small park; as it just started to snow, when Marge suddenly called out, "Stop!"

Don slammed on the breaks and looked at his wife, "What Marge?"

"There," she said pointing outside the window to a little pathway vanishing into the trees with a little trail of footsteps and a pink mitten in clear sight. Serena craned her neck and took a long look.

"Olivia was wearing –"

That's all Don needed to hear as he jumped out of the car and ran down the pathway. He sucked in a few deep breathes, his chest screaming in protest as icy air entered his lungs. He didn't stop however, ignoring as small twigs snapped against his body.

He then saw her, curled up on a park bench, shivering. She was hugging her knees, cheeks twinged with blue. He rushed over, pulling off his coat and wrapping it around her. He picked up her little body, holding her close and slowly walked back towards the car. He was slightly surprised that she hadn't struggled.

"Are you God?" she coughed, "Am I dead?"

"No Olivia,"

"But..." she suddenly went limp and Don picked up his pace. Serena came into view.

"Oh my god! Olivia!" she cried out.

"Get back to the car – tell Marge to get in driver!" he ordered. Serena nodded and hurried off. When Don arrived, Serena was in the back, with Marge sitting in the driver's seat. He placed Olivia in with her mother, who instantly clutched her daughter in a tight hug.

Don got into shotgun and soon they were off towards the nearest hospital.

"Mommy..." came Olivia's voice.

"I'm here baby," said Serena, pulling her closer, "I'm here..."

"I thought you...didn't...want...me..."

Don felt a tear slide down his face.

"I've always wanted you. I love you Livvie," cried Serena. In the rear-view mirror, Don could see that Olivia was clinging to her mom, a small smile on her face.

"I..."

And then Olivia closed her eyes. Serena kept on talking to her, trying to get a response out of her daughter but she couldn't. At least Olivia was still breathing.

They reached the hospital Emergency and Don got out and once again carried Olivia, whilst Marge and Serena followed. The nurse took one look at the frozen child and immediately wisped her off. Leaving Don, Marge and Serena sitting in the waiting room; frozen in fear, and praying with all their might.

Eventually a doctor came out. Serena was holding her breath as the Doctor gave his diagnosis. Olivia was suffering from hypothermia, but luckily it wasn't too serious, but if she had been out any longer well that would be a completely different story. He needed to keep Olivia overnight for observation just to make sure though.

"Can we see her?" asked Serena breathlessly. The doctor nodded and led them to Olivia. She was lying in a bed, connected up to an IV, with a warm blanket over her. She looked so helpless...so lifeless as she lay there unmoving.

Serena moved forward, sitting in the chair beside Olivia's bed. She held her daughter's hand, tears glistening in her eyes. Don and Marge stood around the bed and watched on.

Eventually Marge opted to go and get some coffee.

"Thank you Don," said Serena breaking the silence that had consumed them.

"It's not a problem,"

"But it is," said Serena earnestly, glancing up at Don, "I told you to go away, to never show your face again and yet you came, you came for her..."

Don stroked Olivia's hand, "Course I did, she's like my daughter." He stared Serena straight in the eye, "I understand why you don't want Marge and I around – but you have to know. When you told me to go, it was like losing my own daughter. In those few months Olivia had become that, my daughter..."

"I'm..." she swallowed deeply, "Sometimes I don't know what to do. I want to raise her, but it's just so hard. Half the time I want you there, but I don't want Olivia to know about..." she snorted, "which I think isn't a problem anymore,"

"Make up your mind Serena," said Don shortly.

"I..."

Marge then entered the room, carrying three cups of steaming coffee. She handed one to Serena and then to Don. Don took a short sip, enjoying the warmth that spread into his body as the hot liquid trickled down his throat.

"C'mon Marge," sighed Don. Marge looked at her husband confused, but at his serious eyes nodded and followed him. Just before he left the ward he turned back to Serena, "When she wakes up you need to explain to her everything. Be calm, be gentle, be patient, and tell her that you love her, because I know that you know that, but Olivia really needs to hear it," he paused, "And please call me when you know that she's okay,"

Then the Cragens left. Serena called after them but Don ignored them. Don hated leaving Olivia there, he really did, but he knew he couldn't be there. Serena had made it clear six years ago what she wanted for Olivia, and Don knew that in a few weeks she would be back in that mind set. No point losing his girl twice.

Driving back to their apartment was sordid affair. Don desperately yearned to go back and be there when Olivia woke up, to wish her Merry Christmas. But he didn't, instead he just drove.

_**TBC**_

**Author's Note:** Did you like? Also please understand...I have never study medicine so if I get anything wrong there...well you'll now.

Don't be afraid to drop a line!

* * *


	4. 1985 or the worries of 'parents'

**Over These Years**

**Author's Note:** Also thanks to everyone that read this and all! I was in a good mood today...sadly now I still have shitload of homework to do...ah crap! Also chapters will be getting shorter...like days in winter really, god my feet are cold...

* * *

_**O'Malley's Bar, Manhattan**_

_**24**__**th**__** June, 1985**_

"And congratulations to the new L.T.!" announced Max Greevey, raising his glass in toast. Don grinned widely, as a bunch of other cops from his precinct joined in the toast. There was a large sound of clinking glasses, and then a long sigh after each man finished taking a long draught.

Don leaned back in his seat, as the babble started up amongst the cops. He had just been promoted to lieutenant, and in true brotherhood style Max had immediately rallied the other cops at the precinct and organised a small party at a local bar. In other words, drink until you're so shit faced that you completely forget what happened in the last twenty four hours.

Don felt slightly guilty, feeling the need to go home and tell Marge the good news, but at the moment he had content just to sit there and enjoy the company of his fellow officers.

Don took another drink of beer when Serena Benson walked in. He placed his glass down and blinked a few times, unsure if it was really her. He hadn't seen her – what in four years? After that 'little' (biggest understatement ever) incident on Christmas Eve, Don had left the Bensons alone. Marge however was still sending cards over but Don no longer got into it. She wasn't his kid after all, was never going to be, and besides from what he heard from Ms. Cabot (Marge again) Olivia was doing fine, so fine in fact that the Child Services had stopped checking up on them. The last thing he had really heard was that Olivia had made it into an advanced placement program for Math. No point him interfering when it came down to it.

Watching her carefully, his curiosity soon got the better of him as to why Serena had come over to this part of town near his _precinct_, and had gone into a _cops bar_. At her creased forehead he knew something was wrong. He immediately excused himself from the table and made a beeline for her.

"Serena?" he said softly from behind as she sat at the barstool. She spun around, flipping her long hair and smiled, "Don? Fancy seeing you here,"

"It is a _cop bar_...near my _precinct_," he said slowly.

She didn't respond.

"How are you doing?" he asked, sitting beside her.

"Great," she deadpanned, the barman gave her a Long Island Ice Tea. She swirled around her drink and added, "Just great, I'm teaching at Hudson now,"

"Really?" he said, not really interested in the fact she had gotten the job at Hudson she had always desired, because no way she would make this trip just to by _'chance'_ to run into him to tell him that she had gotten her dream job.

"What about you?" asked Serena, glancing over at his friends, "You got a promotion?"

"Yeah, Lieutenant," shrugged Don. He looked carefully at Serena. He could tell something big was on her mind. She had a sort of hopelessness in her usual determined eyes.

"Marge must be pleased," she said breaking through his thoughts

"Wouldn't know," admitted Don, "I just heard and my partner Max decided to celebrate,"

A curious expression appeared on her face, "Uncle Max?"

Don blinked at surprise at that. Uncle Max...he hadn't heard that name for a very long time. His heart warmed as he remembered uncle Max teaching Olivia little magic tricks, "You heard?" he asked.

"Livvie wouldn't stop talking about _it_ for months," she said simply, _it_ being the time when Olivia had come to stay with him. It touched Don that she remembered it. Serena caught his wistful look, "Don't get your hopes up Don, she barely remembers – she was six after all,"

"Of course," shrugged Don, "So how is she?"

"She's good; going well at school...she's engaged,"

"What?" his eyes widened and immediately realised that this was the thing that was worrying Serena - and no shit too.

"I know," sighed Serena.

Don drew in a deep breath, "But she can only be what...sixteen?"

"Uh huh," grunted Serena, before draining the last of her drink. Olivia was engaged? How? Who? A small beast roared in his chest, urging him to go and find the guy and lock him up. He closed his eyes, trying to think through the situation logically. It was probably a guy at school...and probably a fling...he hoped that was the case...

Clearing his throat he asked, "Who too?"

Serena let out a low whistle, "This is where I want to break the guy's balls – he's one of my students, they meet at a university function I had to attend, and I foolishly brought Livvie along,"

"How old?" growled Don.

"Twenty-one,"

"That's –"

"She's assured me that they haven't had sex yet," cut in Serena as if reading his mind.

Don glanced at Serena in pure disbelief, "You seem rather calm about it,"

"Trust me I'm not...currently I'm on the verge on trying to get so drunk and pretend like this whole business hasn't happened," sighed Serena, she ordered another drink, "She never listens to me, and she's threatened to move out..."

Don could understand why that threat was really getting to Serena. Olivia was all she really had and she wanted to keep it that way. Sighing, he said, "Then make her listen. Sit down with her – make sure your sober – and list the reasons why you don't want her getting married,"

"Besides the obvious of her being way too young?" she joked lamely.

Don shrugged, "Yeah, even that. And if that doesn't work I'll find some way to arrest the guy," he paused, "What's his name anyway?"

"Good idea Don," said Serena, side stepping the last question. She put some cash down for her drink, "But sadly Lieutenant," she smirked, "I have to leave and go convince my sixteen year old daughter that she is about to make the biggest mistake of her life, and then I have to go hound her fiancé,"

"If you need –"

"Call you?" she raised an eyebrow, "I'll be fine Don, but I'll keep it in mind,"

She left the bar, leaving Don sitting alone, still stunned.

"Who was that?" came Max's voice behind him.

"An old friend,"

* * *

_**Outside the Benson's Apartment, Manhattan**_

_**30**__**th**__** June, 1985**_

Don sat inside his car early in the morning, sipping on a warm coffee, waiting for Serena to appear. He had been doing this for the last couple of days waiting outside, desperate for news on the engagement. On the first morning he had seen Olivia storm out of the building with Serena behind her, yelling at her. He noticed there was a slight bruise developing on her left cheekbone. He immediately wondered if Serena had hit her. In his gut he knew she had, so Don had promptly gone and talked to Serena which had ended in her telling him to 'bugger off'.

Don had been tempted to arrest her on an abuse charge but he didn't knowing that it would go nowhere.

He hadn't seen Olivia leave the building in the morning since and he suspected it was because she had been staying with her fiancé, so it was a surprise to him when he saw her leaving the building, hair tied up in a messy bun. She looked happy to say the least

Serena appeared at the entrance of the building not shortly afterward and walked over to Don. Don rolled up the window in time to hear Serena mutter, "Do I need to take out a restraining order?"

"I don't think so," chuckled Don and then more seriously, "How is she?"

Serena sighed in relief, "She broke it off. After our little chat the other day she got so angry that she just left –"

"And you hit her..." interrupted Don the disappointment in his voice. Serena shifted uncomfortably.

"I know, and I apologised...I just don't know what came over me...I've never hit her before, ever, not even when..."

_Even when what? Please don't say that you've been drinking this entire time Serena,_ thought Don.

"So she just left to live with him," continued Serena.

"What made her break it up?"

"He wanted to have sex with her."

"No," said Don hollowly, shaking his head, deciding there and there that he was going to hunt this guy down...and well it wouldn't be pretty, "Didn't he realise the she was a minor?"

"Yes, and then the prick kept on asking so she told him that the wedding was off,"

"Thank god," sighed Cragen. He couldn't believe it, he just couldn't. Who would...

"Anyway I have to go to work," said Serena. She bid him farewell and went back to her apartment, whilst Don began to drive over to the precinct. He made a mental note to check up with Serena to make sure that Olivia hadn't been getting bothered by her ex-fiancé. If there was any trouble, he could expect a long night in a holding cell for that jerk.

_**TBC**_

**Authors Note: **So what did you all think? Good, bad, crap? Also sorry for any mistakes - hot of the press.


	5. 1993 or finding her calling

**Over These Years**

**Author's Note:** Thanks again to those who reviewed, fave'd, or placed this on alert - love you all! And yes this chapter is short...

* * *

_**27**__**th**__** Precinct Homicide, Manhattan**_

_**5**__**th**__** May, 1993**_

Don was talking to Detective Briscoe, when Mike Logan sauntered into the precinct that morning, looking incredibly under the weather but cheerful all the same. He sat down at his desk and leaned back grinning like a Cheshire cat. His partner, Lennie Briscoe, raised an eyebrow, "Rough night Mikey?"

"You have no idea, no idea," whistled Mike, "Rookie beat cops, like fresh out of the academy...met up with a couple of the fairer sex..."

"Do you even remember their names?" chuckled Lennie.

Mike glared at his partner, "Course, there was an Alex...Omes –"

"Eames?" offered Don. Mike nodded, whilst Don and Lennie laughed. Don made a mental note to catch up with John Eames. He actually wasn't one bit surprised that Alex had followed in her daddy's footsteps. She'd be a good cop, strong, direct to the point...

"And a...Taylah Sexton...Coates...nah Cootes...I think,"

"Great start Mikey," said Lennie, rolling his eyes.

"And a Liv...Benson, I think?"

"Olivia Benson?" choked Don in shock, not sure if he had heard right.

"Yeah..." said Mike slowly, waving around his arms, whilst Lennie snapped his fingers, as Don stood there unmoving like a stunned mullet. Olivia had entered the academy? Olivia was a cop? Olivia, his little Olivia was now Officer Benson. Shit she had grown up fast...shouldn't she still be in college? He blinked, and realised that his detectives were both staring at him. Pulling himself together he snapped, "Back to work detectives,"

He turned and walked to his office.

"Wonder what's wrong with Donnie?" he heard Mike ask.

"Don't know and it's not our business," came Lennie's voice, "Now c'mon we've got to go and interview Robinson,"

Don smiled in relief, and went to his desk. Logging into his computer, he pulled up Olivia's Academy file. To his surprise and joy she had done well, topping most of her classes. He gazed at her academy photo for a moment, smiling. She was beautiful.

He printed off copies of her Academy record. That night he and Marge sat together brimming with happiness (and slight fear). Oh how they grow up...

_**TBC**_

**Author's Note: **Don't you just love Mike? Don't ya?

* * *


	6. 1999 or in his footsteps

**Over These Years**

**Author's Note: **Hope you all enjoy this! Thanks again for all those who reviewed, alerted, or fave'd this story!

* * *

_**Special Victims Unit, Manhattan**_

_**August 24**__**th**__** 1999**_

She had to want to join his unit.

Don glared at the transfer request on his desk. He wanted to burn it, to rip it up, to dump it in the Hudson River. She had to want to join his unit, not that it surprised him really. He had always suspected that the reason for her joining the NYPD was to eventually work SVU.

Naturally he could decline the offer, say he thought that with her past and the fact she was a product of rape that it could cause her to be unable to objectively pursue cases. No one would really question that but at the same time Don was short on man power – SVU wasn't the most desired unit, he knew that, as did his detectives. It would be stupid to turn down her request; she had two good years behind her in the Robbery Unit with a high conviction record and once again he really needed more man power.

But if she joined who to partner her with? With the recent detectives leaving the unit he had been juggling his senior detectives, John Munch and Elliot Stabler amongst the 'newbies'. Though in all honesty Monique Jeffries wasn't a newbie but she wasn't senior either.

Don leaned back in his chair, thinking it over. If she did come into SVU he wanted to give her a permanent partner – none of this juggling business. He wanted to make sure she was being taken care of, and that her parentage could remain in the sand. And the easiest way for that to happen was to give her an anchor.

So Munch or Stabler? Munch or Stabler...

John Munch certainly did have a hell of a lot of experience under his belt. The decorated Baltimore homicide detective had been a great catch for Don. He could be good for Olivia, but Don was reluctant – Munch was known to be tactless sometimes, though really he did have a heart of gold. Though as he looked out onto his Squad room and saw Munch joking around with Cassidy in an older brotherly manner he decided against it. At the end of the day he had been always been leaning towards putting a Cassidy and Munch partnership. They complemented each other.

That left Stabler...Elliot Stabler, the former Marine, father of four, the hot head of his squad – the all American blue collar guy. Don liked the idea of putting Stabler with her, he would be good, show her the ropes, and protect her. Or putting those two would be a bloody migraine – in between Stabler's 'outbursts' and if she overreacted (if being the key word) – well police brutality could become a common complaint. Of course though there was the advantage of their past history together...not that they'd remember each other but who knew?

He sighed and got up. Walking to his door, he barked, "Stabler!"

His detective looked up and wandered over to his captain's office. The look on his face made Don grin, he knew what was going through Stabler's head 'what the hell have I done this time?'. When Stabler entered the room, Don said, "Don't look so worried,"

"What do you want Cap?"

Don wordlessly handed Olivia's file and transfer request to him. Stabler blinked in surprise, flicking through it.

"Look through, tell me what you think,"

Stabler nodded and left the office. Don watched him carefully as he read through it, completely absorbed in it. He turned back to his work and waited.

Around five o'clock, Stabler returned.

"You weren't supposed to give me the entire file," it was blunt and true. Generally when cops were partnered, each partner was granted access to the service record of their fellow officer and so forth. But Don hadn't just done that, he's given Stabler everything, including the Serena's rape case file and even the information on Olivia's stint in foster when she was six. It wasn't proper that he had done it, but he needed Stabler to understand.

He cleared his throat, "I know, but you have to understand –"

Stabler cut him off, "I'll be her partner, and she'd be good for SVU,"

"She could fall apart," countered Don.

"So could I, so could you, hell we all could," reasoned Stabler with a small shrug. He handed the file to Don and was about to leave when he turned and said softly, "Don't worry I'll keep her safe,"

"I know Elliot,"

A wry little smile, complemented with a one shoulder drop, "Especially from bullies,"

Don responded with a light chuckle.

* * *

_**Special Victims Unit, Manhattan**_

_**September 1**__**st**__** 1999**_

She appeared that morning.

Don had to say she was a lot different from the young rookie officer from a few years ago – hell a lot different from the little baby about thirty years ago. She was tall, with a thin physique, almost like the body of a runner. Her hair was cut short, and held back in a loose bun. Her skin was the same soft olive toned – probably inherited from her father – it had always been though, as were her intense brown eyes.

The transfer process had been quick and painless. Olivia had just finished wrapping out her last case, so when her old captain, Thompson a man Don knew from his beat days, had gotten the go ahead, it had been set. Olivia Donatella (Don still found that name amusing) Benson, detective second grade, was now SVU's newest recruit.

He was in some ways grateful that Stabler hadn't arrived yet (he'd just gotten the call from his senior detective – something about Lizzie and a stomach ache and a ruined suit). He always preferred to talk to his new detective's first before they met their partner by odd chance when they arrived.

Don watched as Munch gestured Olivia to his office after chatting to her a bit. She smiled and nodded, whilst Munch muttered something. Olivia chuckled nervously, whilst a smirk appeared on Cassidy's face.

Don rolled his eyes, and returned to his desk. Soon enough a soft knock was heard on the door. Then it slowly creaked open to reveal Olivia, wearing a very simular expression to the time when Don had met her when she was six.

"Hello, I'm Olivia Benson," she said slowly. Don nodded and gestured to the chair opposite him. He noticed her glance around the office and he wondered if she remembered him at all. Or if she had ever looked into what had happened when she had been sent to live with him, he doubted it go. It had been years ago.

Don suddenly noticed that whilst he had been musing, Olivia had been staring at him. There was an odd look on her face, the same look people get when they realise they have forgotten something and are trying to remember what. Don cleared his throat, and she immediately blinked and looked away.

"Hello Detective Benson, I'm Don Cragen your superior officer and welcome to Special Victims Unit," he paused, god he really needed to update his welcome speech. Putting it into the back of his mind, he did his usual, 'I don't want any crap from my unit, stick by the rules, and play nice, if you feel that a case is hitting to close to home please tell me so you don't ruin an investigation, also if you break those rules I give all my detectives two chances and once you blow them you're out speech'. He also started to tread into the reasons for her joining SVU.

Her response was short and simple, "I've always wanted to work this unit because I think rape, abuse, and things like child pornography are terrible crimes and that all the perps need to taken off the street, and I also because I felt this would be a challenge,"

Don raised an eyebrow, "Nothing to do with your upbringing Benson?"

"Maybe a bit," she admitted with a sad smile, "But it won't interfere –"

"I'm not saying it will," cut off Don, "This is a hard unit Detective, people need drive to even consider coming into work. If your upbringing is a part of your drive then I don't care. Just follow my rules and we'll be fine,"

"Thanks Captain,"

He shrugged, "Let's meet you partner now," he got up and began to walk to the door when he suddenly stopped – it was the first of September...thirty years ago she had been born, thirty years ago he had stood be Serena Benson and watched as she had brought Olivia into the world. He turned back to her and smiled, "Also Happy Birthday Olivia,"

"Thanks," she said, slowly. He nodded and glanced out over the bullpen, to his delight Stabler had just walked in. Cracking his door open he called in his detective.

Elliot Stabler strode in at his full height, blue eyes taken in his surroundings immediately (Don smothered his laughter as he saw that Stabler's slacks and jacket didn't match). Stabler studied Olivia for a moment, a little twinkle appearing in his light blue eyes, and then said, "Yeah Captain?"

"Detective Stabler I'd like you to meet your new partner Olivia Benson," said Cragen, gesturing to her. She rose and the two shook hands.

"Hey Benson, nice to have you on board,"

"Thanks Stabler," was her reply. He noticed how her eyes seem to gloss over for a moment, as if remembering something. He tensed waiting, and suddenly his door barged open and Kenny walked in, glancing around he said, "Uh sorry Cap,"

"No problem Briscoe," smiled Don, he introduced Kenny to Olivia. He'd have to tell Lennie later that his nephew was eyeing his new detective.

"Anyway cap," said Kenny, "We got the ME's report back for the Treffen case,"

Don nodded, "Okay," he glanced at Stabler and Olivia, "You two can have the morning off, get to know each other, but I want you both back after lunch, understand?"

"Sure Cap," they both chorused and then left. Don felt a smile tug at his lips as Olivia suddenly started doubling over in laughter at something Stabler had said. He remembered that laugh so well, so warm and full of life. Hell, seeing those two together reminded him of simpler times. Turning back to Kenny, he pushed his girl to the back of his mind.

Their partnership was going to a beautiful thing.

Later on that night most of Don's squad had headed home. Don was still working though, as was Stabler who was reading over a report in preparation for court the next day. Don yawned loudly, placing down his pen; he really should go home and see Marge. She had just gotten back from Hawaii after flying across America for a week.

"Where is he?"

Don quickly sat up almost as if someone had stuck a pin in him. He knew that voice...

"M'am please just calm down," came Stabler's smooth and calming voice, "Now who do –"

"Bloody Captain bloody Don Cragen!"

"May I ask –"

"Who are you?"

"Detective Stabler," said Stabler shortly. Don heard a quick intake; the shit would surely hit the fan now – if Serena knew who Stabler was partnered with.

"Stabler? You're my Livvie's partner," snapped Serena. Don rose – he really didn't want Stabler to end up in a hospital. He left his desk and ventured into the bullpen. Serena immediately saw him and rushed towards him, eyes wide and red from crying, hair wild and untamed, and then she slapped him.

Don allowed her too, cringing as his cheek stung slightly. He somehow expected that she would turn up when she found out the unit Olivia was working in and specifically who the captain was. What he hadn't expected was for her to turn up so fast.

"How could you, how could you...you...you prick?" she sobbed, pure rage filling her eyes, "How could you let my Livvie work here? Why? What bloody lies did you fill her with when she joined the bloody NY friggin' PD!" she paused and suddenly a flurry of hands and feet were being charged at Don. Stabler leapt forward immediately and restrained Serena. Don sucked in a breath of shock, whilst Serena ranted, "It wasn't when she joined you – no you started when she was just a fucking child! I should of never of trusted you! You –"

"Serena, I had nothing to do with your Olivia's transfer," said Don earnestly, "Well I kind of did, I accepted it, but she chose to work SVU on her own record. I'm not happy about it either," he paused, "Stabler let go," Serena broke away from the tall detective.

"Then why are you letting her work here?!"

"Because she wants too, and she's determined, like her mother, and probably would have applied to Brooklyn SVU, or Bronx SVU, or Queens SVU, if I turned her down," said Don, honestly. Serena glanced away and her fingers began to twirl her long hair together.

"Just...look after her," she said almost lamely. She looked over to Stabler, "You especially Detective,"

"With my life,"

"I'll hold you to it," sniffed Serena. She glanced around, "I'll just be going then..."

"I'll drive you home," offered Don. Serena nodded and the two friends left the precinct (and a very shocked Stabler) behind. As they drove along the dark streets of Manhattan to Serena's apartment, she said, "Don, I'm sorry..."

"I understand," he said simply. He pulled up the sedan, "Here's your stop,"

Serena nodded and got out, "Thank you Don for everything you've done," and then she left.

And that was the last time Don Cragen ever saw Serena Benson.

**_TBC_**

**Author's Note:** Not long to go until the end...muhaha! Hope you all enjoyed this!


	7. 2000 or the final curtain call

**Over These Years**

**Author's Note:** Please note this hasn't been beta'd...yet. It's hot off the press so sorry for any spelling mistakes and of course any other slip ups, like OCCness...whatever enjoy this and thanks again to all those who reviewed, alerted, or fave'd this. You guys all rock! Seriously! Also if you don't know what Carols by Candlelight is, well it's something we do in Australia...pretty self explanatory really.

* * *

_**Special Victims Unit, Manhattan**___

_**8**__**th**__** December, 2000**_

"I knew all along,"

Don Cragen looked up to see Olivia Benson standing at the door of his office. Her eyes were red as if from crying. She walked over to his desk and slumped into a chair, eyes closed, hands massaging her head. She looked so lost...

Don studied his detective for a moment. She was shaking slightly, she had been crying, and it tore his heart. He hated seeing her like this, so vulnerable. His arms ached to go over there, and hold her tightly like he had done all those years ago.

She'd been like this for about a week, ever since the untimely death of her mother. Olivia had been distant, tired, cranky (her partner still had the bruises to show),and even teary. He had noticed that today she was more composed, and when he thought about it he remembered all those times today that she had given him a fleeting glance, as if wondering what to do. And now she was confronting him, searching for answers. Don had always wondered when this day would come. He had been waiting for her to connect the dots. Guess her mother's death had made her connect.

"What did you know Olivia?" he asked.

She shook her head and glanced up at him, "You know when I first made SVU I was so happy?" he didn't respond, so she continued, "I was so bloody happy...whole reason I joined NYPD was to make it here. And then I get here, and I met you...and I knew, just knew, that for some reason I knew you, and I didn't know how...and now all I can say is why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't think it would make any difference Olivia,"

"Any difference...?" she repeated slowly. She leaned back, "I can't...why didn't you come back after I went back with Mom? Was that it?"

"I didn't want to leave you..." Don got up and looked out onto the interview room, "But you were happy, so happy...and Serena didn't..."

"Didn't want you seeing me," finished Olivia.

He nodded, "Yeah,"

"You could've ignored her," pressed Olivia. Don turned to look at her. He walked over to her and sat beside her.

"Would you have preferred that?"

"What?" said Olivia, confused, biting her lip.

"Would you have preferred to have me around?"

"It's not what I –"

Don cut her off, "Answer the question Detective,"

This got an eyebrow quirk from Olivia. A small smile tugged at her lips, "Well _Captain_..." she looked away from him, "I don't know..."

He nodded, "So how did you finally..." he let his question trial away to silence.

"Connect the dots?" shrugged Olivia, "I finally went to Mom's apartment and I had a look around," she smirked, "My Mom kept a journal, did ya know?"

"Really?" chuckled Don. He had never had Serena down for the journal keeping type.

"Yeah," nodded Olivia, "It wasn't a very well kept one...just random entries here and there...there were a lot from around '75...a lot of curses concerning your good name,"

"I can only wonder," deadpanned Don.

"So, that was a major clue, and then I went and checked some old records...you know like my birth certificate and who my guardian was..." she stared at Don for a moment, an odd expression on her face, "You know she didn't drink 'cause of you,"

"What?"

"Yeah, whenever she went to get a drink after a stressful day," Olivia paused and then imitated Serena, _"No...he wouldn't want me to, gotta do right..."_ Olivia looked at Don thoughtfully, "I remember asking her, who he was? She always said her guardian angel..."

Guardian angel? He had never thought of Serena to be one for dramatics (actually that was wrong, she was one...). He felt his eye glisten...she had thought that? Watching Olivia, he realised that his small meetings with Serena had probably served as constant reminders of what promised she had made, _Livvie's going to grow up right, she gonna grow up right_. And hell Olivia had grown up right, she was a SVU Detective, she was strong, she was mature, and she yet she was still his little girl.

"I never realised that she thought that," said Don slowly. He was aware that Olivia was observing him closely. It was unnerving, actually, how intense the stare was. It was no longer one of curiosity, but much like the one she used when she was in interrogation.

"So have you talked to Elliot and Alex Eames?" said Don suddenly, wanting to shake her gaze off him.

"What..."

Don shrugged, he hadn't expected her to remember, an eight year old is one thing, but a six year old? Hell he could barely remember his childhood. He expanded, "When you stayed with me you got close to those two,"

"I did?" said Olivia in slight wonder. Her eyebrows knitted together, and then her jaw dropped, "No way...El is that Elliot? No way..." Her face reddened slightly and Don couldn't help but notice that she hadn't mentioned Eames in that sentence.

"Small world, eh?"

Olivia stared at him, "Biggest understatement of the century," she paused for a moment, "Why'd you let her give me Donatella as a middle name?"

"I thought it was a good choice," smirked Don, remembering his first reaction. Not that he'd had a choice, Serena's mind had been made up.

"Liar," said Olivia, "You didn't like it,"

"Well it was...odd let's just say,"

"Whatever Splinter,"

Don's eyes narrowed, "Splinter?"

"Yeah, El's Leo, John's Mikey, and well I guess Fin's Raph, so that means –"

"Detective..."

Olivia's face split into a grin and she started laughing. Don couldn't help but join in, it was infectious. Eventually Olivia sobered and she got up, "Better head home...thanks Don, for everything,"

Don felt a strange vibe of déjà vu but he shook it off.

"Olivia...since we're both alone this Christmas...how'd ya like you like to spend Christmas with me?"

Olivia smiled, "Love too,"

She left the office and Don felt a strange desire to break out in song and dance.

* * *

_**Don's Apartment, Manhattan**_

_**24**__**th**__** December, 2000**_

Don stood at the stove, stirring a large saucepan full of pasta, carefully watching his sauce that was bubbling away and giving off an amazing smell. He was actually quite proud of himself. He had never been much of a cook, but if he had learned anything since Marge had passed away (bless her soul) was that he could make a mean vegetarian pasta.

Without warning the doorbell of his apartment rang. Turning down the heat, he left his meal and hurried to answer it.

He unlocked the dead lock, and opened it to reveal Olivia, dressed in a hoodie and jacket, with dark blue jeans tucked into ugg boots. Her short hair was flecked with small pieces of snow. As she entered the hallway she sniffed, a grin appearing on her face, "Started cooking without me?"

Don shrugged, "Thought we'd make a cake for desert...I do recall you saying that you wanted to use straight chocolate once,"

Olivia laughed. She took off her coat and followed Don into the kitchen. They spent the rest of the night catching up, with Olivia glowing like a tomatoes as Don recounted her antics when she was six. They did make a chocolate cake, though in the process the kitchen ended up looking like a bomb had hit it.

"So did you really date Mike Logan?" asked Don suddenly.

"Mike Logan...oh my god," Olivia started laughing hysterically, "He turns up acting all Macho, and all, and then Eames, this girl called Cootes, and I well...I don't think I should really continue."

Don opened his mouth to argue when Olivia suddenly asked, "So what happened to Mike? Still working at Homicide?"

Don shrugged, "Got sent to Staten Island,"

"Sent?"

"Punched a homophobic councilman,"

Really?"

"Yeah,"

"Poor guy," said Olivia. It was like an undecided thing that being _sent _to Staten Island or any other kind of big demotion was like signing your career away. Don glanced at the oven, "Cake's ready,"

Olivia nodded and got it out of the oven. Shrugging she grabbed a spoon and scooped some up into her mouth. She mumbled at Don's shocked expression, "Less dishes,"

Don shrugged and followed suit. Eventually they retreated to his couch (with a cup of eggnog), and started watching the _Carols by Candlelight_ on TV, Olivia singing at the top of her lungs when _Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer_ came on.

As they sat there, Olivia glanced around the apartment. She sighed, "Last time I was here, there were three of us," she picked up her cup and held it up, "To Marge, may she rest in peace,"

Don nodded, raising his own, "To Serena, may she too rest in peace,"

They chinked their glasses together, a bit too hard, causing some to slop onto Don. Olivia grinned, and the two drank deeply, remembering their loved ones.

As the night drew on, Olivia was curled up in a small ball, eyes closed, completely beat. Don watched her, and he couldn't help but think though she was about twenty six years older she still slept like she had when she was six. At midnight Don said softly, "Merry Christmas Liv,"

"It's Olivia to you,"

Don smiled, some things never change...and then he watched his girl sleep before he too slipped into darkness.

_**Fin**_


End file.
